Are You Ashamed?

My hesitation about Beth's transformation has been a well known issue in our relationship for a long time. But, now I am comfortable about it and this way of life is normal to me. Because I have had reservations about it in the past she still doesn't trust me about my insecurities. She thinks that every comment I make in public is driven by my embarrassment of her transformation. Honestly I rarely even think about it any more unless she brings it up. No matter what I say she doesn't trust my response to be honest. I thought we had really moved past all of this but yesterday proved my wrong. We were at the local library with the kids and I unintentionally hurt Beth's feelings. She was talking rather loudly and I made a comment about it. I would have made this same remark to anyone despite their gender. I didn't know if she realized how loud she was being. She took it as being fueled by my embarrassment of her gender and mistook the whole thing. We both got upset with each other and I was in a no win situation which frustratred me even more. Beth has a knack for provoking people and I was trying to diffuse this situation before someone was offended. This had absolutely nothing to do with her transformation but rather her built in ability for trying to get to people. People in this small town we live in have a great deal of pride and they feel they must defend their town and the people in it at all cost. Beth was making comments about someone representing the town, loudly. Also when she knows there are ultra conservative people around she sometimes feels it is her duty to shock them or introduce them to non- conservative ways. I love her to death and I do not get embarrassed by her. I just feel like it is my job to diffuse situations before they get out of hand sometimes. I adore Beth and I want her to know that I have never been ashamed of her and if anything I feel it is my responsibility to protect her and stand up for her at all cost. I am a control freak and it is hard sometimes to share my life with someone who lives life on the edge. She just needs to learn to trust me.