Wife of a Smoker
Rather than writing a blog about being the wife of a MTF Transsexual I think I may need to start blowing off steam about being the partner of a smoking addict. Beth has decided to curb her smoking addiction. I am all in favor of her conquering this battle. I'm proud of her effort. I however, am not thrilled about the journey to this heroic achievement. Our home has been inundated with chaos for well over a month now with little time for rest. A perfect time to quit smoking right?
Let's just put it this way, the kids and I are slow moving targets in the way of a mad driving lunatic smoker woman. I am trying my hardest to be pleasing and considerate, yet whatever I do, don't do, think, don't think, say or not say I am annoying and evil and wrong. our precious little angels ironically seem to have been placed here on Earth as a cruel joke from Satan. Even though we have shared unwavering love for eight years I supposedly have no love in my heart for Beth. We are all pure EVIL.
I admit that I don't know what she is going through since I have never had a substance addiction. But my heart is in the right place. I love her so much and want to help in any way I can to help her reach this monumental goal. I want her to be successful in this for all of our sakes. I don't want her to go through the same agony my grandma did from smoke related torture. I want our children to not have to fear the repercussions of having a smoking mother.
She is driving me mad! I feel like screaming! I am having withdrawals of her withdrawals. I'm so scared that she is going to give up. I know she can do this. She has already come so far. She has conquered much more menacing obstacles in life, I have faith she can do this too. But it is a slow, tedious, torturous process for all of us. I know she is super tempted to call it quits with the whole thing, but I hope she can just hang on a little longer. We shall see.....
( By the way Beth if you do read this don't be angry- I Do love you)
Status report: She started again
Let's just put it this way, the kids and I are slow moving targets in the way of a mad driving lunatic smoker woman. I am trying my hardest to be pleasing and considerate, yet whatever I do, don't do, think, don't think, say or not say I am annoying and evil and wrong. our precious little angels ironically seem to have been placed here on Earth as a cruel joke from Satan. Even though we have shared unwavering love for eight years I supposedly have no love in my heart for Beth. We are all pure EVIL.
I admit that I don't know what she is going through since I have never had a substance addiction. But my heart is in the right place. I love her so much and want to help in any way I can to help her reach this monumental goal. I want her to be successful in this for all of our sakes. I don't want her to go through the same agony my grandma did from smoke related torture. I want our children to not have to fear the repercussions of having a smoking mother.
She is driving me mad! I feel like screaming! I am having withdrawals of her withdrawals. I'm so scared that she is going to give up. I know she can do this. She has already come so far. She has conquered much more menacing obstacles in life, I have faith she can do this too. But it is a slow, tedious, torturous process for all of us. I know she is super tempted to call it quits with the whole thing, but I hope she can just hang on a little longer. We shall see.....
( By the way Beth if you do read this don't be angry- I Do love you)
Status report: She started again
Published on 9:31 PM
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