A HerWife Journal
Beth and I were discussing our blogs today and I really have been thinking for a long time about how much I really wish blogging was more popular our first four years together. Those were the most transforming and tumultuous for us. I had the hardest time those first years of transition. I just wish I had been savvy enough to keep a journal as Beth did. I really would have liked to see how I've grown and I think that perhaps all of my feelings of the past could help those now struggling.
I forget sometimes all the thoughts and feelings I endured. When I read other sites and comments or inquiries I suddenly remember what it was like. I knew about Beth's blog but refused out of spite to take part in it at first. Darn me! We would have made a great blogging team.
It just seems that now the issues that used to seem so dramatic and important have been resolved between us and within myself. All I can say is that for those of you breaking into this world, things get better. Fear is what holds us back. Though you may be too stubborn and afraid to accept this non- conformative life, it will only be at the point which you find your own strength to stand up for love that you two will find not only contentment and peace, but happiness. Yes you will eventually find joy. If you do not break through your own walls, things will not just fix themselves and dissappear.
It is not about those around you. Focus on your love. I know that your head and heart are torn and that everyone else is trying to persuade your decisions. Don't let them! Listen to your heart. Everything else with time will fall into place. You don't have to have an exact answer for every question. Take each challenge as it comes. Trust me, you'll drive yourself crazy otherwise and only build resentment towards your partner. With time that too dissipates.
If you don't stay won't you always wonder what would have come of your love? Is this person worth fighting for? Is it your fear or the unknown which is keeping you away? Are you afraid of missed out opportunities or still uncomfortable with people's reactions? You have to weigh your love. Are you scared of how the person is going to change? They do change but so do you. It's a rough road and no one can give you the answer you are looking for. Despite what you may think, this is not a selfish act. It is not fair to ask someone to choose. Trust me, if your partner is transgendered, they will not grow out of it. You cannot change their mind. Do you really want to be with someone who cannot truly love themselves? Love is meant to be unconditional. Are you and your love strong enough to tackle this together?
I will not lie. It is hard and you will have to learn and adapt and take risks you might be reluctant to take. In the end it does pay off. It's life and you can only take it day by day and that's my advice to you. All you can do is try and you might be surprised at with every new level your acceptance grows. Is your relationship worth giving up on? Mine wasn't and we made it! Good Luck!
I forget sometimes all the thoughts and feelings I endured. When I read other sites and comments or inquiries I suddenly remember what it was like. I knew about Beth's blog but refused out of spite to take part in it at first. Darn me! We would have made a great blogging team.
It just seems that now the issues that used to seem so dramatic and important have been resolved between us and within myself. All I can say is that for those of you breaking into this world, things get better. Fear is what holds us back. Though you may be too stubborn and afraid to accept this non- conformative life, it will only be at the point which you find your own strength to stand up for love that you two will find not only contentment and peace, but happiness. Yes you will eventually find joy. If you do not break through your own walls, things will not just fix themselves and dissappear.
It is not about those around you. Focus on your love. I know that your head and heart are torn and that everyone else is trying to persuade your decisions. Don't let them! Listen to your heart. Everything else with time will fall into place. You don't have to have an exact answer for every question. Take each challenge as it comes. Trust me, you'll drive yourself crazy otherwise and only build resentment towards your partner. With time that too dissipates.
If you don't stay won't you always wonder what would have come of your love? Is this person worth fighting for? Is it your fear or the unknown which is keeping you away? Are you afraid of missed out opportunities or still uncomfortable with people's reactions? You have to weigh your love. Are you scared of how the person is going to change? They do change but so do you. It's a rough road and no one can give you the answer you are looking for. Despite what you may think, this is not a selfish act. It is not fair to ask someone to choose. Trust me, if your partner is transgendered, they will not grow out of it. You cannot change their mind. Do you really want to be with someone who cannot truly love themselves? Love is meant to be unconditional. Are you and your love strong enough to tackle this together?
I will not lie. It is hard and you will have to learn and adapt and take risks you might be reluctant to take. In the end it does pay off. It's life and you can only take it day by day and that's my advice to you. All you can do is try and you might be surprised at with every new level your acceptance grows. Is your relationship worth giving up on? Mine wasn't and we made it! Good Luck!
Published on 11:02 PM
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