House Guest

I just wanted to know, on average, how long it takes a house guest to figure out the inner workings of the house they are residing in? It has been well over two months now with the addition of the family tree in our home and my mother in-law still switches our sensor lights on and off, cannot figure out the dvd player and remote control and for goodness sakes hasn't yet mastered where the forks and spoons go in the drawer caddy! Did I neglect to mention that I have kindly reminded her 17 trillion times that our dryer burns clothes on the highest setting? Yet again and again I get lectured about how I load the washer and what I choose to put down my very own garbage disposal. Oh and don't even get me started about the proper placement of bowls, pots and pans. Now let's see how many pans, spatulas and spoons have now been destroyed? And while we're on the subject once a person has run the toilet water onto the floor every day for 2 months how many more times before they gain a proper estimation on paper consumption and location of the plunger. You know the movie You, Me and Dupree? Well, here it's you, me and Mommy!