PCOS
Isn't it ironic? For those of you who have been following this journey there's yet another ironic twist. I've recently been diagnosed with PCOS. Which means I have tons of cysts on my ovaries; basically the reason for my major physical and mental issues since puberty. I just about cracked up when the doctor told me that I had elevated male hormones in my body. Turns out I now have to take the same sort of meds that Beth has been taking for years. We're reaching for hormonal womanhood together.
We knew we were blessed with our family but we never realized what a miracle happened to us twice. Women with this disorder are often infertile.
Honestly I think I would not be as anxious to embark on this personal journey with balancing my hormones if I had not learned so much about them from Beth. I have a lot of fears that sometimes out weigh my hope to balance my body. I am concerned about my emotional instability and physical side effects. I wonder if taking this medication will change parts of myself I do not wish to change? Beth has testified that hormones can alter something as simple as tastebuds all the way to your mental view of the world.
It will be interesting to see how dramatically hormones can change life. Will I see things the same way? Will I lose strength and the forceful drive for competition? Will I go down to a size 6 or balloon to 3,000LBS? Will I lose bone density, get blood clots and have heart palpatations? Will I lose critical thinking skills along with the facial hair? Hmmm, I wonder. What is in store for me ? I've been hoping for help for a long time. I can admit I've know since puberty things were not right. I'm just crossing my fingers that the benefits are worth it.
Today is my third day on the drugs and so far I have noticed a decrease in menstrual cramping, so that's a good thing. I have also noticed an emotional wave that ebbs and flows. Soon after I take it in the morning I get a clear head, a boost of energy and I feel like the world slows down. I suddently love everyone and can't help but giggle. Yesterday I got really weepy and depressed mid way though the day. As the day moved along I got really tired and my edgy temper started moving back in. Around bed time I was exhausted but in a serene emotional state. Now Beth says that it will take some time for my hormones to balance, and right now I am on my period. It will be interesting to see how the other three weeks of the month come to pass.
Hopefully this plan works and I will eventually feel like I did while I was pregnant with Chance. That was the best "hormonally" I've ever felt in my life. I hope for my family's sake that stability will win in the end. No matter what, I don't think I'll magically love the color pink and worship butterflies. We'll see.
We knew we were blessed with our family but we never realized what a miracle happened to us twice. Women with this disorder are often infertile.
Honestly I think I would not be as anxious to embark on this personal journey with balancing my hormones if I had not learned so much about them from Beth. I have a lot of fears that sometimes out weigh my hope to balance my body. I am concerned about my emotional instability and physical side effects. I wonder if taking this medication will change parts of myself I do not wish to change? Beth has testified that hormones can alter something as simple as tastebuds all the way to your mental view of the world.
It will be interesting to see how dramatically hormones can change life. Will I see things the same way? Will I lose strength and the forceful drive for competition? Will I go down to a size 6 or balloon to 3,000LBS? Will I lose bone density, get blood clots and have heart palpatations? Will I lose critical thinking skills along with the facial hair? Hmmm, I wonder. What is in store for me ? I've been hoping for help for a long time. I can admit I've know since puberty things were not right. I'm just crossing my fingers that the benefits are worth it.
Today is my third day on the drugs and so far I have noticed a decrease in menstrual cramping, so that's a good thing. I have also noticed an emotional wave that ebbs and flows. Soon after I take it in the morning I get a clear head, a boost of energy and I feel like the world slows down. I suddently love everyone and can't help but giggle. Yesterday I got really weepy and depressed mid way though the day. As the day moved along I got really tired and my edgy temper started moving back in. Around bed time I was exhausted but in a serene emotional state. Now Beth says that it will take some time for my hormones to balance, and right now I am on my period. It will be interesting to see how the other three weeks of the month come to pass.
Hopefully this plan works and I will eventually feel like I did while I was pregnant with Chance. That was the best "hormonally" I've ever felt in my life. I hope for my family's sake that stability will win in the end. No matter what, I don't think I'll magically love the color pink and worship butterflies. We'll see.
Published on 8:59 AM
2 Comments:
I understand almost completely! I am a man slowly transitioning into womanhood and the hormones I am taking are creating a strange world of emotions, senses and feelings. I have been on them for 3 months now, so I am starting to notice less severe mood swings and such, but I am still getting used to a lot of new, yet wonderful changes. Hang in there!
By
saramari, at Thursday, March 6, 2008 5:23:00 PM EST
Just saying hello! I'm a woman with PCOS, who is recently dating a TG lesbian, and really hoping to connect with other women in my shoes. I'm bi, so the girl aspect doesn't bother me, but I'm still learning the lingo and how to be comfortable with her, and him. Bree hasn't started taking hormones, and hasn't decided whether she will or not, but I support all that she decides. Could use a friend in this journey.
evilpenguini at gee mail.
By
tammy, at Sunday, May 4, 2008 8:23:00 PM EDT
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